The "Monkeyshines" Case - Entry 3

One Duke combines all of the necessary qualities that a friendly neighbourhood Watering-Hole should embrace: a darkened atmosphere, free of idiotic yelling & cursing; delightfully filling, quasi-exotic food; and the kind of liquor-shot volume one should only rightfully expect were they a visiting dignitary. In short, the perfect Office-Away-From-the-Office...it was here that I got to examining this "monkeyshines" case in full.

Gathering what little information was given, along with a bellyful of Heineken & chevre-soaked smoked-salmon on hard-toast, I came to an uncomfortable conclusion: There was a Madman, or perhaps a Madwoman, wandering the streets of Hammertown, taking lives & giving no quarter as to the consequences...the kind of maniac a small, independently-owned Detective Agency could make a big name off of, were said Agency to solve the case.

Once I arrived at my home, the Office-Away-From-the-Office-Away-From-the-Office, I sobered up & realized that my earlier conclusion was based on erroneous assumptions & far too much beer for a Monday night. I instead came to a secondary conclusion: That I didn’t have enough information to begin the case with any zeal. Downcast, a little woozy from drink, but ambulatory enough to use the telephone, I called Randy at the office, knowing that he’d still be there, either staying abreast of incoming information or downloading revolting Internet Porn, as, by all accounts, Randy was a lonely, lonely man. Sure enough, though I heard the sounds of what I thought to be a zipper doing-up, he answered the phone, edgy but with case-starting info: I was to look for a Bernice Sheppenwastein, located in Centraleast-Downsouth East-Hammertown. I thanked him as best I could, envisioning all of the times my mouse was all sticky & tacky on any given morning, and promptly brewed up another fantastic pot of East-Beijing Sea-Urchin coffee...that was the Crime-Fighting blend, and I was going to need it.

Entry 4