The Lawson Detective Agency Mission Statement

DISCOVERATION.

One of the principal tenets of Detecting. Less known, however, are the phrases LOCATIONARIANISM, LOOKINZEES and...well...um, LIFTING UP ROCKS...or something. Alliteration is the Devil, and I am of the Damned. Regardless, these vague precepts are what were somewhat going through my head during the inception of the Lawson Detective Agency ©, where we will look into anything for $10.

Let that last bit find its way through your brain, to your heart. Ten bucks.

Big, small or completely worthless, once the electronically mailed Consultation Query has been sent, along with the aforementioned $10, we will do everything in our power to locate the "it" or "thing" or "whatever", as well as keep you informed as to the process with updated communiqués, while sending receipts for money spent while on your personalized quest. Be it a long-lost child given up for adoption, a rubber ball you thought you might have put under the couch, or the surveillance of a carousing, sexy wife whom you think might be lost to Debauchery, we will look after it all...for the small Consultation Fee of $10.

Plus whatever expenses we incur.*

Yes, to the folks here at Lawson Detective Agency ©, your valuables and/or lost stuff are being looked into...with a fine eye geared towards truth, justice and making ten dollars a case.

Plus expenses.

*Expenses are the natural result of having to spend time doing Detective Work. As such, sometimes a pizza is in order. Or vast quantities of liquor. Or, when in an unfamiliar city, female "tour guides" who provide information, along with "relaxation techniques" to calm the various Agents, allowing them to, afterwards, concentrate on their work. The Lawson Detective Agency © or its various subsidiaries are not responsible for perceived overspending, nor are they responsible for shoddy work done after a particularly hard night. Or for that time that One "relaxation therapist" turned out to be Three for only the price of Two...well, that’s called making a good deal, and although it left me, er...that particular Agent far from cognizant for the remainder of the case, we here at The Lawson Detective Agency ©, while not condoning actions such as these, are always up for a good story.