The "Expletive-Deleted" Case - Entry 14

I sat, fiercely holding a Lawson Detective Agency © Brand Ice Pack to my right temple in an attempt to keep the throbbing in my head at a minimum while leafing through unimportant documents at the LDA HQ; though the headache was well-deserved, as I had imbibed enough of that East-Tallahallowockian Moonshine to last me four camping trips, the deservedness of said mind pain wasn’t enough to offset the irritation of my poor decision to get caught up in the whole Tallahallowockian culture just because a Guide for Morons version of it was printed on the back of the bottle.

I tried to focus, figuring that a solid cup of Lawson Detective Agency © Brand Tomato Juice from the Crime-Solving Dinner Edibles Menu-offshoot (the similarly-LDA-approved Day-After Detective Work Hangover Cures Menu) would help me to straighten out and find that elusive clue...the one snippet of the case that had heretofore escaped me, leaving me with a rapidly-thawing Ice Pack melting down my face and no idea as to where Tabitha Shinkleblossom could’ve taken Randy. My Lawson Detective Agency © Imitation-Brand Police Scanner had been keeping me abreast of the Shinkleblossom estate, and she hadn’t, to this point, returned for even a fresh set of underpants. I was at a loss, and becoming increasingly aware of the need to get this secondary-case rolling...every second I spent confused and irritable was another second Shinkleblossom was using to continue her getaway unabated.

Inexplicably, I jumped onto the Interweb and began searching for more on the Nihs family, as that picture off the Moonshine bottle was jammed into my frontal lobe, and, though I had flunked out of psychiatric college, I was almost positive that my curiosity towards their leader, Mossol-Belk, was pushing any relevant information from the current case out of my head; I would satiate my growing obsession with a quick Interweb study-session, and then get back to my Detective Work once my hangover had faded. However, once I found an "official" website for the Tallahallowockians, the introductory note left me frozen, unblinking, in my chair...my two greatest passions, at the present time, were mixing together like rye-whiskey and sweet-vermouth, and this tasty Manhattan of a lead was to be the break in the case that I was looking for.

Entry 15