The "Expletive-Deleted" Case - Entry 11

Getting myself checked out of the hospital was less troubling than I had feared; I had apparently overstayed my welcome by two weeks, which, in retrospect, explains the exasperated noises I received as responses to my inquiries in regards to lunch, as well as the repeated attempts to physically remove me from my bed.

Regardless of who stayed too long where, I made my way back to Tabitha Shinkleblossom’s abode but found it infested with police, combing over the premises with flashlights and the furrowed-brow interest of a scientist looking into a petri-dish. The stay at the hospital, though allowing me more time to heal than was necessary, had mixed up my brain but good, and I blamed the jell-o...though with the realization that I had arbitrarily placed blame on the very foodstuffs that had kept me nourished throughout my stay, I fully understood how deep my own mania had gone. Jell-o doesn’t hurt people, I thought to myself, sternly tapping my forefinger on my temple in a last-ditch effort to keep that information in my head this time, and went about finding my way into the Shinkleblossom estate.

The chimney was readily available, but there wasn’t a soul guarding the front door...even so, it took three protracted gazes at the inviting chimney before I convinced myself that the front door, though not nearly as exciting, was the better bet for my entrance being unnoticed...particularly as I only had on my hospital-issue gown, which would only hinder my climbing. Once inside, and with the house temporarily free of police, I thought it best to hide and wait out the investigation, lest anyone see me in my backside-revealing gown, so that I could conduct my own investigation at my leisure; I found the couch to be an extremely comfortable option, luxurious even, and laid myself down on the filth-encrusted pillows, pulling my legs up so they were also covered by my hospital gown, and as the fatigue set in, I heard the tinny sound of noise down a long hallway...a voice off in the distance that said "who the [expletive deleted] is that?" as I succumbed to sleep.

Entry 12